Must Be Tuesday
Chatter from A to Z with a special place for Buffy, Angel and Apolo Anton Ohno.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Time Has Come
Well, well. Not that anyone comes here anymore. I mean, really, EVERYONE that used to visit me are pretty much gone now. I do stop by some of my friends on occasion, but I don't get many visitors anymore.

To be honest, ever since my sweetheart, the beloved and everlasting Michael Jackson passed I lost heart to put into this blog. I really just stopped coming. That along with my dwindling visitors and lack of stuff to blog about kept me away.

If you are so inclined, please friend me on Facebook. If you want, just Private Message me and let me know who you are. Also, if you happen by and are a fan of Michael Jackson and Buffy, please friend me and let me know, because that's even better!

That being said, this blog is now officially closed. Yes, it's been some good times. Some bad times, but most of all it's been fun and entertaining. I appreciate everyone who came over the years and stopped and posted, who linked me and returned often. Thank you and goodnight.

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Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 4:07 PM   6 buffy fans
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
is anybody alive in here?
I just forgot I had a blog didn't I. I gotta be honest, ever since Michael Jackson died I have not been the same. I don't think I will ever be the same. I have lost interest in coming here like I used too. I'm on facebook, and I created my own private forum to discuss Michael Jackson, because no, I have not stopped thinking about him.

I think and talk about him every day and I think I will continue to do so for a long time. This has affected me more than I can say. I'll probably jump back here I guess, but I spend the majority of my time on my forum, watching TV and listening to Michael Jackson.

I bought a new computer about a week ago. I should take a picture but have been lazy. My lovely computer I love so much is a imac and it is awesome! love it! I have cramps right now and my back is killing me. I'm watching "Hells Kitchen" and will probably go to bed at 9pm. cannot wait until the weekend, I feel like shit.

Hi, to my 4 readers, lol. I'm sorry, haven't been even lurking. I will try to come by and say hi soon, I do miss you guys. till next time.


Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 8:12 PM   2 buffy fans
Friday, August 28, 2009
Happy Birthday Michael

I haven't been here in I don't know when. My all MJ immersion continues as I have learned his official COD is "Acute Propofol Intoxication" and has been ruled a Homicide. I don't know what was going on with Murray, what he was thinking, incompetence, just stupid, was framed, I don't know but he sure has a doosey on his hand in forever being the man who "Killed Michael Jackson"

I am in no mood to really post anything. I have sort of drifted away from the land of blog as my grief over Michael Jackson has not subsided and is showing no signs of lifting me from my world that includes him him in it on a daily basis. I think of him before I go to bed and when I wake up--still. My mourning is better, but as more details come to light my grief comes in waves. I am happy and laughing over something he said or did that is cute, as he was often cute and light hearted.

Then next I'm crying for his life and the father his kids miss. I wanted many more years with Michael. I wanted to see his dream to finish This Is It and then spend more time with his kids. That will never be now. I still love him more than ever. And the more I learn of little details of his life, his personal and public life I love him even more.

I don't care who thinks I'm crazy. I have found a lovely bunch of ladies on a forum that I visit daily and they understand. Had it not been for them I don't know how I would have stood my grief and pain. I was feeling so tense, so pent up with wanting to talk, discuss, cry, laugh that I felt like I was going crazy. I really did feel that way. I could feel myself growing more and more intense. I feel like they saved my life in a way. I am grateful for being able to connect with people who felt that level of pain, who also think about him daily, who want justice for him.

It is a great feeling to be able to talk incessantly about him and not be judged. Thanks guys!


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Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 9:19 PM   1 buffy fans
Friday, July 31, 2009
The week is done
I am glad it's Friday! I didn't even have a lot of work this week, so it was a good week. I don't have anything new to blog about. I see it's getting fewer and farther between new posts. Oh well. I'm currently still obsessing and freaking out over Michael Jackson. Do not expect this to end any time soon.

I plan on buying some goodies from QVC. They had some MJ stuff to buy. It's gonna take me a long time to stop thinking about him.

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Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 8:56 PM   1 buffy fans
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Just another day
There hasn't been much going on with me. But I'm finally on Facebook! I am in the middle of figuring out how to set up and add to my page, but I'm on it now. So now I can be friends with my buddies. Louisiana and KingCover I"m looking at you. ;)

I'm still hurting over Michael Jackson. I listening to an interview he did with Steve Harvey back in 2002 and it was HIGHlarious. So great to hear Michael laughing and genuinely laughing. He felt and sounded so down to earth, not I didn't think he would be, but he felt like if you met him and had more than 15 minutes with him you'd be laughing and acting stupid before you knew it and you'd soon stop realizing that you were hanging out with Michael Jackson.

What I really liked about the interview was Steve praising him and thanking him and letting him know how much he meant to black people especially. I was so glad that MJ got to hear that.

What hurt a little was Steve was joking about burning down the tabloid building and MJ was like "We should do it" and about other people who pretend to be real but are fake, and I heard the hurt and anguish in his voice over that. It was sad, because when you can't disguise that shit in your voice you know you really feel that and I known he was always really hurt and angry over the media and the tabloid and you can only ignore so much. I can only imagine hearing or seeing that garbage every day. Just straight up bullshit that you KNOW are lies and people out there believe that shit.

Anyway, Happy soon to be Monday. Let's get this week over already.


Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 6:30 PM   2 buffy fans
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Goodbye, Michael

I am still feeling surreal; I am still in shock and stunned over Michael. I cried a few times, I laughed but overall I am so, so sad. I try and be glad I have his music and memories left behind, but watching some of the rehearsal footage for the "This is It" chocked me up. Watching him dance and just seeing how easy it came to him to dance and move...I just can't believe it. I try not to think about him being gone. But this is final, and when I think about it hard enough, think that MICHAEL JACKSON is gone, not retired, but dead is just too much for me to bear.

I want to fight those who badmouth him. I hate those fucking assholes. I think there is a special place in hell for those who want nothing but to bring up all the mess, all his personal drama. This asshole writer for our Redeye Chicago had the nerve to say that people about 28 years old and younger will only remember his bizarre life and personal issues. You fucker! That is the most ridiculous statement ever. Yes, he had his issues, but you mean to tell me that you think that when people think of this man all they will remember, the only thing they will think of about his life is that he bought the Elephant Man's bones and had a chimp named Bubbles? That's it. That's all he ever did in his life. That is sad that this jackass thinks that after all he accomplished that he will ONLY be remembered for this trite shit that he can dredge up.

I think Michael was only at peace on stage. I truly believe that. I just miss him so much. I wanted him to live to be an old man. It will take me some time to get over the idea that Michael Jackson, MICHAEL JACKSON (sniff!) is gone!

He did so much for the world, he tried, and successfully in many cases, to do what he sought out to do. He wanted to bring people together, he wanted there to not be a color barrier. I appreciate him for doing that, for wanting a better world and not being afraid to stand up and say that and try to, single handedly, do it. It is a shame that so many people do not see that. But I see it, and many, many, many of his fans saw it too. I feel for the children too because and in his afterlife I feel for Michael because he loved his kids and I know he wanted some kids and here he has some and loved to play with them and now he's gone and they are left behind and it is so sad.

I am still very emotional over this and I feel like fighting the naysayers. But I must remember they are just assholes and assholes don't know any better. I will give people their opinions, and I respect that--I have my opinion too, but at least BASE it on something! And don't just pull up some random strange thing he did and use that to put together the anthem to his life. He is more than just whatever strange thing he might have done or how he looked in certain points in his life. He had white skin, okay, so does that make up who he was as a man, as an entertainer? NO! And none of these fuckers take into account his childhood, his life. That same fucker that writes for the redeye I mentioned said that he doesn't know if his childhood or his father had anything to do with his life, and he doesn't care---that is stupid to say there. You have variables that contribute to how he acted as an adult that will give you a reason to why he was an even shyer adult, why he wrote the songs he did, why he did some of the things he did and you don't care? You want to try and justify your idiot statements by just with a whole lot of nothing. On the media and gossip and that's all you need to know. Dumb ass.

Well, prepare to have me mention Michael Jackson peppered throughout my posts. I loved him, I truly did. I was such a huge fan. I still listened to his music. He wasn't out in the press as much in the last couple of years, but I wanted him to be okay, and I hated the press and the tabloids.

This bitch at work said she cared for the kids but said he shouldn't be honored like this. See, I wanna fight her. I want these people to show me who SHOULD be honored like this? Someone who did as much for the world as he did? I can hardly look at footage of him without crying. Man, he was great. Why can't he just be in the hospital? I hate it. He was truly someone who will never be duplicated.

I love you Michael. I will never forget you. You were something to be seen. Something to be marveled at. I can't believe you're gone, but I'm so grateful for the memories, and so thankful to have them. So, so happy that I saw him perform--it might not have been live, but I saw his concerts and saw the amazing Michael Jackson, that I was a witness to truly the Greatest Entertainer that ever lived. I truly believe he is that. I have never seen moves like that, see someone so shy get up on stage and dance like that in front of millions of people. He was truly amazing and mesmerizing to watch.


Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 10:22 PM   0 buffy fans
Monday, June 29, 2009
Be cool
I finally bought an air conditioner, but now the weather has cooled down. Not to fret, I know it will soon be 90 degrees soon, but I'm enjoying the cooled down weather. I went to the Taste of Chicago on Friday. Of course it was crowded as all get out, but I still had fun. I even got to see
Cameo. A group I liked in the 80's for those who don't know. Very cool!

This is a short week this week, I don't have to work Friday. Yay! I'm trying to read some more, and don't even talk about writing. I only wish I focus and organize myself enough for that. One days soon, I'm getting on that.

I'm still on the Michael Jackson train. It will take me another week or so to get that a little better. It still hurts when I think about him. Poor Michael. I watched his videos on Vh1 and MTV all day Sat. Sniff. It does feel like I lost some of my childhood, I remember gluing myself to the TV for his premier videos. They were always events, with beginning and end credits, there were never anything like that before him. That's what I will remember, how he changed videos and pop music in general, and dancing. Like Elvis, people never saw movies like Michael. We couldn't get enough. I still can't get enough when I watch him.

I hope everyone enjoys their fourth of July. Enjoy the parades or stoking the Q's or whatever you do for the holiday. Happy Monday!

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Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 9:13 PM   3 buffy fans
Thursday, June 25, 2009
You will be missed Michael

I can't tell you the grief I'm feeling for Michael Jackson. It feels surreal, I felt like he couldn't die. hehe, because he was MICHAEL JACKSON! You know what I mean? I first heard a work and went straight to the internet. And about an hour later I found it was official. It made my stomach hurt, I felt funny. Hearing that news fucked the rest of my day.

Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and, even worse, the 2 year-old that was kidnapped here a few days ago was found dead. It is a horrible last couple of days, actually I think 24 hours in death and I can't take anymore. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Michael Jackson. I regret never seeing him perform live, I think I would have fainted anyway, but at a couple of concerts I realize I don't do well in crowds of people pushing and shoving so it's just as well. Still, I grew up with him, watching him, singing his songs, wearing his buttons, buying his merchandise. I mean he was an international icon. Kids didn't know who the president was but they knew Michael Jackson.

What upsets me is the asshole haters online who disrespect his death and his life. I don't want to be racist or prejudiced but I have come across only white people who seem to wonder why this is even news. I'm not saying all white people, because people of many races and cultures were fans, but the shit heads I encountered were jackasses. And of course people online were still making jokes and such. And I think when the child sex allegations came it got worse, and for those who didn't like him it gave them just cause to openly hate him. Michael Jackson is not a child molester. Okay, I believe he was in the bed with kids, playing with them, rolling around with them. But he's a kid, he never had a childhood! And I know the parents of those kids told them to a find way to put that out there.

I was sad for Michael because he didn't much of a life. I cared about him, personally I cared about him because he really didn't have much in the way of support from anyone, from family, friends, lawyers, etc. Everyone just wanted money, money, money.

He grew up in the spotlight, he had men, women and children fainting at one hand gesture. He just did not get a life, and he wasn't just a celebrity, he was a SUPER celebrity, and I think his childhood combined with other personal issues did not help him as an adult. And it made people believe what they wanted to believe but I think if you looked at the obvious you would know better.

I am glad to have come up and been in an era that included him because I know 2 or 3 generations later there will never be another Michael Jackson, like I don't see us getting another Michael Jordon either. But good that generations can see videos and see what was, like many people can see videos of The Beetles and Elvis.

I'll miss you Michael.


Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 8:00 PM   3 buffy fans
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Read On

I'm reading three books at once, one of them is the third Twilight book "Eclipse" and I'm really looking forward to the next movie. I don't even know why since I didn't really like that book and there was not enough Edward. But the poster has me drooling and ready and I can't wait. Tomorrow is Friday and I CAN'T WAIT! I'm planning on going back to my Buffy event on Saturday. The Slay-a-thon that I go to every year. It's the make-a-wish event. I don't have much to give this year, I'm embarrassed to say, but I will give what I can. And while I'm also embarrassed to say I'm really only there for the Buffy love, I do participate in the auctions and they get a little more money out of me.

So far I'm doing okay with the digital switch. How about you guys? For a while it was really sucky and for some reason CBS just disappeared but it's back now. Whew! Okay, well, I'm gonna go cause I'm really hot and getting hungry and I'm gonna take a shower, not that you needed to know that.


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Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 6:41 PM   1 buffy fans
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Once upon a time on blogger...
I used to post regularly. I don't know what happened to me. I used post regularly, when I wasn't working, big surprise, I posted everyday. Now, I drag myself in here every 3 weeks or so. It's ain't right. And I still love blogging! I just wish I had more interesting things to blog about instead of the same ol' shit. Speaking of the same ol' shit You all remember The hell my sister put me in about my debt. Welllll, she is still paying on that debt, or SUPPOSED to be paying on that debt and it just ain't happening. I had a nervous breakdown. Seriously, I had one, my mother witnessed it. She's ( and a good friend) are my Oprah link, and she tells me what happens on Oprah, and today Oprah said stop worrying about all that stuff like bills and the like and live your best life now.

Well, I have no choice. My credit is FUCKED THE SHIT UP thank to you know who and she ain't doing shit about it. I just hate the fact that she totally hung me out to dry and is not trying to keep up with fixing it. Credit scores are serious, and they can determine a lot of things now and later in life. She does not seem to care about that for herself at all, but I always ALWAYS had great credit, and that is over now. I.HATE.IT.SO.MUCH. I got a bad headache thinking about it. She gets all sad and quiet and guilty when I explode about it, but she keeps paying late on the bills! I just decided to just stop fucking trusting her and I'm just gonna take the bills and pay them myself. I didn't want too because I have my own debt and I wanted her to pay what she was supposed to pay, but she won't do it on time, so now I'm still getting zinged with late payments against my credit. She tries to say she does care when I say she don't care. She says she just don't have the money. Um, you got a job don't you?

I could be a bitch and take her ass to court. But see, I wouldn't do that. First, it's my mistake giving her my SS#. That was wrong and that would be pointed out to me. Now, I will say she was good to me financially many years ago, always giving me money when I was wasn't working. Yes, I remember all that. But I don't think that make up for this now. I just don't. I'm sorry if that's heartless or bitchy, but she talks about how family always screws you over and then she does it to me! I try to think about it too hard because it makes me sick (literally) to think about. I am stuck credit report 7 year hell because she can't manage a damn minimum payment. What makes me upset is that she didn't think about me, didn't care enough to try and keep those cards up to date because I did that for her to get her computer. I mean, it's in MY name, who does she think they're coming after? Then I'm looking stupid if they call my job or try to garnish my wages. She claims she didn't have the money but I know she just didn't give a shit and didn't care since they were calling me and not her. Out of sight out of mind. Hate to say it, but BITCH!

Moving on, my new summer show is back. I love me some SYTYCD. I can't say I have a favorite couple yet, but I did enjoy Janine and Philip and their dance tonight and the Waltz with Janette and Brandon was very good. I enjoyed most the dances. And I voted.

I also enjoyed "Glee" and am looking forward to it's return on Fox.

Okay, that's enough pictures and posting today. The next time I join you this damn digital thing will be underway. State tuned to the chaos that will bring...

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Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 10:26 PM   2 buffy fans
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